wild_at_heart

Wild at Heart -Morgan Young 5.25.03

When you see a picture of God in your mind, what does it look like? We've all seen pictures of God and Jesus in books or hanging on the walls in the homes of relatives, or in churches we've been in. What do they look like??

Do images you've seen look similar to these? (ppt pics) These images illustrate very real qualities of God; his love of children, love for us, love for the lost, compassion, sensitivity (etc). Today I want to hang out on a part of God that we don't often see pictures of, but yet is also a very real and integral part of who God is. And it looks more like these pictures: (ppt pics)

I don't see pictures like these hanging in church. But when we look in God's Word, there are clearly pictures like these. Look at these excerpts from Exodus 15:3-16 (ppt)

The Lord is a warrior; the Lord is His name

Your right hand, O Lord, shattered the enemy

You unleashed your burning anger; it consumed them like stubble

In your strength you will guide them

The nations will fear and tremble; anguish will grip the people

Terror and dread will fall upon them"

Think about the Egyptians that were around in the time of Moses. What kind of picture do you think THEY had of God???: He inflicted them with plagues, diseases, and the death of every firstborn. Oh yeahand God wiped out an army of over 600 chariots as they tried to cross the Red Sea; not one survived.

After Moses leads his people out of Egypt; after their 40 years in the desert, the book of Joshua tells the story of how God finally gave them the Promised Land. And it's story after story of the Israelites, the people of God, killing and burning city after city and hanging their kings. All done under the direction and power of God. If you've never read Joshua, it makes the movie Braveheart look like a sitcom.

How about Samson. Here's a man's man. He killed a lion with his bare hands, pummeled thirty Philistines and after they killed his wife, he killed a thousand men with a jaw bone of a donkey. I think Samson would have scared John Wayne, Charles Bronson, Bruce Lee, James Bond, Rambo, Indiana Jones, Steven Segall, and Jackie Chan. And notice this. Samson did all these things when (ppt)"The Spirit of the Lord came upon him in power." (Judges 15:14)

Check out this passage from Revelation that paints a picture of Jesus leading an army sometime in the future:

(ppt) "His eyes are like blazing fireHe is dressed in a robe dipped in bloodthe armies of heaven were following Him, riding on white horses(and He had) a sharp swordOn His robe and on His thigh He has this name written: King of Kings And Lord Of Lords." (Rev. 19:12-16) (Sounds like a scene from Braveheart.)

These images are very different from the tranquil picture of God whose arms are wrapped around the lost lamb; but both pictures represent who God is.

From the Bible, it's really clear that God has an incredibly strong side. There's a part of God that wouldn't be out of place in an action-adventure movie; in fact, if we made a true-to-life movie of the book of Joshua, we'd have to rate the movie "R" due to "extreme violence."

It's so important for men especially, to know that God has a very strong masculine sideto realize that God is "Tough Guy Numero Uno!" Let me show you why.

(quote from book Wild at Heart pg. 22)(ppt)

"In a man's search for his strength, telling him that he's made in the image of God may not sound like a whole lot of encouragement at first. To most men, God is either distant or he is weak---the very thing they'd report of their earthly fathers. Be honest now---what is your image of Jesus as a man? 'Isn't He sort of meek and mild?' a friend remarked. 'I mean, the pictures I have of Him show a gentle guy with children all around. Kind of like Mother Teresa.' Yes, those are the pictures I've seen in many churches. In fact those are the only pictures I've seen of Jesus. As I've said before, they leave me with the impression that He was the world's nicest guy. Mister Rogers with a beard. Telling me to be like Him feels like telling me to go limp and passive. Be nice. Be swell. Be like Mother Teresa. I'd much rather be like William Wallace." (end quote)

What the author is saying, is, "I like my masculinity! I like being a GUY. I like the strength that I have. I don't want to become some weak, boring, "swell guy." And I believe that's true of most men if we'll get real honest.

And truth about God is "yes", there is a Mister Rogers, Mother Teresa-like part of Him. BUT, there's also a William Wallace side too; and to not see both sides of God is to get an incomplete picture of Him.

(Quote from Wild at Heart pg. 12)

The film Legends of the Fall is the story of three men coming of age in the early 1900s on their father's ranch in Montana. Alfred, the eldest, is practical, pragmatic, cautious. He heads off to the Big City to become a businessman and eventually, a politician. Yet something inside Alfred dies. He becomes a hollow man.

Samuel, the youngest, is still a boy in many ways, a tender child---literate, sensitive, timid. He is killed early in the film and we know he was not ready for battle.

Then there is Tristan, the middle son. He is wild at heart. It is Tristan who embodies the Westhe catches and breaks the wild stallion, fights the grizzly with a knife, and wins the beautiful woman. I have yet to meet the man who wants to be Alfred or Samuel."

What men are drawn to about Tristan is his masculinity (ppt); Masculinity is the essence of a manit's what makes a man different from a woman. And I'm not talking about personality typesI'm not saying every guy wants to be a jock, or bust broncos. But whatever you do for a living, whatever your environment is, a man wants be strong, victorious, and you naturally like some level of adventure and challenge.

Whatever you do for a living, whether you're a banker, factory worker, computer guy, white collar office guy, work retail, work skilled trades, the service industry; no matter what you do, inside you say "Yeah!" when 007 finally whoops his nemesis and gets the girl!! Something deep down in a man wants to be the herothe guy who comes through in the clutch.

No guy watches Seinfeld and says, "Man, wouldn't it be cool to be George Costanza." (ppt) Men resonate with a guy who's more like William Wallace, ppt a guy who embodies what it is to be masculine.

And from the word "masculine" we get the word "emasculate" ppt which means "to weaken" or "make less masculine."

Let me say this as clearly as I can to men. God doesn't want to emasculate youGod doesn't want to change your life so you'll be soft and weak, so you'll safe, so you'll be tame, so you'll just be "a nice guy."

In the first chapter of Genesis, God creates man in God's own image, in His likeness---LIKE God. God has a "warrior" heart. (Judges 15:14 & other passages referenced) So men, if we are made in God's likeness, WE have a warrior heart too! (repeat)

There is a part of a man that does not like everything to be safe, and deep down most men are a little wild at heartand it's part of God's masculine design.

Let me prove it to you: (ppt "truth about boys")

Every boy and every man naturally wants to grab a bat or club and mash the holy SNOT out of a little white ball! And the harder they hit it, the bigger they smile.

If you've had to raise boys, you KNOW there is something inside them that you didn't put there. The recipe for keeping boys occupied is pretty simple:

Add to any activity a half cup of danger, stir in a little exploration, add a dash of destruction, and they'll be busy all afternoon.

I've got three sons, and over the years, during times when we were "rough-housing" wrestling or playing ball, if they'd ever accidentally hurt me; after they made sure I was alright, (to audience)do you know what they'd do? They'd smile.

They'd release a little smile that gave away their little warrior heart inside. A little smile that says, "I'm growing strong like are, aren't I?" If you're little girl hurts you, the poor kids just feels bad. But if you son hurts you, he feels a little more like a man; he feels his masculinity, growing. ///

(pg 62 from Wild at Heart)(ppt)

"The central truth of a boy's journey to manhood is that masculinity is BESTOWED. A boy learns who he is and what he's got from a man, or the company of men. He cannot learn it any other place. He cannot learn it from other boys, and he cannot learn it from the world of women. The plan from the beginning of time was that father would lay the foundation for a young boy's heart, and pass on to him that essential knowledge and confidence in his strength. Dad would be the first man in his life, and forever the most important man." (end quote)

Guys, we have a HUGE responsibility when it comes to raising our sons up into young men. As fathers we have to instill masculinity in them, we have to affirm their masculinity, we have to continually let them know that they are strong, and they have what it takes.(ppt)

A common theme among men, is that deep down below the surface, they question if they have what it takes. They question if they can come through when things get tough. Deep down below the surface of their lives, many men have a sense that in their job someday they'll be found out; they feel like their "faking it" through life. Deep down men often feel like a "poser." Let me give you a light example of how men fake it; how we pose:

I'm a guy who knows (technical term) "diddly poo"(ppt;-) about car engines. But how do I respond when I'm around my mechanic?

(Play with this!) First of all, body language is paramount. Stand up straight. Maybe put my hands on my hips (try to make my waist smaller.) Wrinkle my brow and squint a little bit. Cock my head just slightly.

By doing these things, I'm telling my mechanic: "Look, I'm a real man here. And I know LOTS about cars, so don't even try to pull the oil-stained wool over my eyes, kapesch?!"

I POSE. And then when he says something like, "It's the pressure in the cylinders." I say, "Oh yeah." Like, "Why didn't I think of that?!" BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW DIDDLY POO ABOUT CARS!!!

The truth is, in the more serious avenues of a man's life, if his dad didn't instill and affirm his masculinity growing up, he'll question if he's got what it takes, and he'll feel like a poser, and I don't just mean at the mechanic's shop.

He'll hide behind his fake confident façade, and most people, including his wife, won't have a clue that in his job, in his role as a husband, and in his role as a father, he fears being found out. At his job, he fears someone's going to finally figure out that he's in over his head. As a husband and a father he feels like he's just reacting to life & deep down instead of feeling strong and confident, he feels unsure. He feels like a poser.

And a man's fears have go beyond whether their dad instilled their masculinity well. The path to adulthood is riddled with arrows that are shot into a man's soul. Kids can be brutal. And they shoot arrows at each other with words on them like: loser, fatty, homo, mama's boy, geek, brown-noser, wuss, stupid

And situations like divorce can shoot arrows into boys that send a wrong signal that it somehow was because of the boy that dad doesn't live there anymore.

It's the reality that LIFE IS HARD and full of arrows that a boys need us to instill masculinity into them. They need to know from dads, the first and most important man in their life, that we approve of them. They need to hear that we believe these little guys have what it takes and that we know they are strong and can come through when life gets tough.

God did this for Jesus when He said in Matt. 3:17, (ppt) "This is my Son, whom I love; with Him I am well pleased."

1. Slate Wrestling (2 pics)ppt

2. Slate minor league (2 pics) ppt

3. Christian hospital

(NOT about WINNINGbut about branding him that he's a warrior who has what it takes.)

Dads, it's SO IMPORTANT for us to prepare our sons to become men, to instill masculinity in them. (ppt) It's not something that can be micro-waved; it's something we do day in and day out. Dad's start looking at your son as this little guy with a warrior heart that needs to know from youfrom your actions and your words, that he's strong and he's got what it takes.

And dad's it's never too late to do this. If you're sitting here now and your son is out of the house, I have one question for you:

Have you've ever told you're son that you're proud of the man he's grown up to be? (pause)

Don't you dare say, "Ahhh, he knows I love him, he knows I'm proud of him!" Don't you dare say, "Heck his mom is the one who's good with wordshe knows how I feel."

Jesus KNEW God was proud of Him, but I'm sure it still felt special to hear those words from his Old Man.

If you can't clearly remember saying those words to your son, if there's even a shadow of a doubt in your mind; then I'm begging you to do it today before the sun goes down. Go over there this afternoon. Or pick up the phone. Tell him you're proud of the man he's become. And tell him you believe with your whole heart that you KNOW he's got what it takes.

I promise you this: Regardless of how sheepish he may act when you tell him, no son ever tires of hearing affirming words from his dad.

(ppt)Like to share an "interesting" passage on raising boys from Wild at Heart (pg 78-79)

A few years ago now my middle son, Blaine, made the big transition to first gradeEvery night at the dinner table he regaled us with tales of the day's adventures. We heard all about his new teacher, gym class, what they played at recess, how he was emerging as a leader in all the games. But then one night he was silent.

"What's wrong, Tiger?" I asked. He wouldn't say, wouldn't even look up He didn't want to talk about it. Finally the story came out---a bully.

Some first grade poser had pushed him down on the playground in front of all his friends. Tears were streaming down his cheeks as he told us the story.

"Blain, look at me." He raised his tearful eyes slowly, reluctantly. There was shame written all over his face.

"I want you to listen very closely to what I am about to say. The next time that bully pushes you down, here is what I want you to do---are you listening, Blaine?"

He nodded, his big wet eyes fixed on mine.

"I want you to get up, and I want you to hit him, as hard as you possibly can."

A look of embarrassed delight came over Blaine's face. Then he smiled. (pause)

Eldredge continues writing:

Good Lord---why did I give him such advice? And why was he delighted with it? Why are some of you delighted with it, while others are appalled?

Yes, I know that Jesus told us to turn the other cheek. But we have really misused that verse. You cannot teach a boy to use his strength by stripping him of it. Jesus was able to retaliate, believe me. But he chose not to. And yet we suggest that a boy who is mocked, shamed before his fellows, stripped of all power and dignity should stay in that beaten place because Jesus wants him there?

You will emasculate him for life. From that point on, all will be passive and fearful. He will grow up never knowing how to stand his ground, never knowing if he is a man indeed. Oh yes, he will be courteous, sweet, even minding all his manners. It may look moral, it may look like turning the other cheek, but it is clearly weakness. You cannot turn a cheek you do not have (end quote)

(Let me say this NOT an endorsement for all your kids to go out this week & sock each other in the nose!)

Talk about controversial; I first read that passage and didn't how I felt about it. And right now, you may have uneasy thoughts about that passage. (right? wrong?)

Let me try to help us. ALL THROUGH the Bible there numerous example of righteous anger. "Righteous anger" means anger that is "just" and "appropriate." (ppt)There are times when God endorses his people to use force. Biblically, "force" and "aggression" are clearly not bad things. It's how and when we use it.

When we look at the scenario of these two little first graders, Eldredge definitely makes a case that it's probably in his son's best interest to respond to the bully with force next time.

What about the bully?

The bully is a little example of masculinity gone wrong. Being wild at heart or having a warrior heart has NOTHING to do with being a bully. There's nothing worse than the strength and sense of adventure that God put into boys and men, when it's misused.

You know, it's possible this kid is a bully because he doesn't have a healthy masculine role model at home.

I propose that if the bully goes unchecked and unopposed, he may very well grow up to be an even bigger bully. As much as this little deal is a potential turning point for Blaine, it's every bit a potential turning point for the bully. The rest of their lives just might be much more healthy as result of a righteous punch in the nose.

What am I saying here? I'm saying don't instinctively criticize a boy because he uses his strength and don't automatically instruct a boy to run. Strength isn't bad. It's how it's used. The bully is an example of misuse. A punch in the schnoz could be a good case of righteous anger. ///

I'd like to say a few words directly to women, (ppt) about your sons and husbands.

First of all ladies, please allow your husband to take your son and do things that make you nervous! ;-)

In the initial years of a boys life, he needs you to mother him, and dote over him like nobody's business. But as he gets older, even as little guys, you must allow he and his dad to go do GUY THINGS TOGETHER. Let them do things you have no desire to do. If they make you nervous, they're probably doing something that both your son and your husband LOVE and it's probably making an indelible memory in both their lives.

These kind of "dangerous guy things" are the times when masculinity is passed on to your son. Occasionally they are times when your son gets hurt; but your son learns that it didn't kill him and he's learning he can be shaken and bruised and survive. He's learning the kinds of things that you or any other woman cannot teach him, can't show him and can't explain to him. He needs masculinity from a man (not necessarily his father) so he grows up into the young man you want him to be.

And as he grows up through his teenager years, don't cling---what I mean by that is, as he starts to look more like a man, don't treat him like he's your little boy. Young men resent it. They still very much want your lovethey still love youbut they want you to treat them like the young men they're becoming. When a boy starts to look more like a young man, but you treat him like he's your "little guy" he feels emasculated, and that makes him want to push away from you. So as sons grow up, interact with him like the young man you want him to be, not like the little boy he used to be, and your relationship will stay strong as he grows up.///

Now ladies here's a passage from Wild at Heart for you about your husbands (ppt)

"Women are often attracted to the wilder side of a man, but once having caught him they settle down to the task of domesticating him. Ironically if he gives in he'll resent her for it, and she in turn will wonder where the passion has gone. Most marriages wind up there.

A weary and lonely woman asked me one day, 'How do I get my husband to come alive?'

I said, 'Invite him to be dangerous.'

'You mean I should let him get the motorcycle, right?'

She shrank back, disappointment on her face. (She said)'I know you're right, but I hate the idea. I've made him tame for years.'" (end quote)

(ppt) Ladies if there's anything a man hates it's to be emasculatedto be weakenedto be denied the things that are in his God-given nature to do. There is a lot of truth to the phrase "the difference between men and a boys is the price of their toys."

The adventure and danger that young boys exhibit is NOT something that men are supposed to GROW OUT OF! It's expected that as men grow up they should become responsible; BUT that is not to say they need to be TAME now; they don't now need (as some women would say) "to put childish things away".

If you want to be married to a husband who has a sense of life in him, if you want a man who has some passion in him, allow himNO, ENCOURAGE him to do the things that don't seem sensible, that don't seem necessary.

Encourage him to take his warrior heart out and exercise it. And as you send him out to do things that perhaps your feminine heart doesn't resonate with, see if he doesn't back wanting to draw closer to you.

Women, I want you to leave here knowing that it's in your husbands DNA to want to do GUY STUFF! The man you married, regardless of how he acts or looks on the outside; on the inside is at least a little wild at heart.

And let me give you some big disclaimers (ppt) so there's no confusion about this talk:

1. (ppt) Men need to be sensitive and caring with their wives and kids. This message is not a "Get-out-of-intimate-communication-free" card.

2. Just because it's natural for a guy to want to hit a little white ball to kingdom come is not an excuse to do so at the expense of his family. (ppt) You can't do guy stuff every night of the week and say,

"Look honey, I can't help it, it's God's fault that I'm wild at heart." ///(drink)

Alright. Why all this "Warrior heart" and "wild at heart" stuff? Let me read a last passage from Wild at Heart. (pg. 83) (ppt)

We have forgotten a simple truth: "The energy, competitiveness, and corporal daring of normal males is responsible for much of what is right in the world."During the Columbine massacre, "Seth Houy threw his body over a terrified girl to shield her from the bullets, fifteen-year-old Daniel Rohrbough paid with his life when, at mortal risk to himself, he held a door open so others could escape."

That strength so essential to men is also what makes them heroes. If a neighborhood is safe, it's because of the strength of men. Slavery was stopped by the strength of men, at a terrible price to them and their families. The Nazis were stopped by men. Apartheid wasn't defeated by women. Who gave their seats up on the lifeboats leaving the Titanic, so that women and children would be saved?

And have we forgotten---it was a Man who let himself be nailed to Calvary's cross. This isn't to say women can't be heroic. I know many heroic women. It's simply to remind us that God made men the way they are because we desperately need them to be the way they are. (end quote)

(ppt)And right now, in this church, in your homes, in this community we desperately need strong men. Life is hard and complex and becoming a Christ follower doesn't make it less hard or any easier.

So families need men who don't come home and hang their masculinity on a hook by the door. So many strong wild at heart men come home and become passive while their wife runs the show.

For a family to work, men have to be in the game, have to be involved with their wife, and involved with their kids. After 8-10 hour days, it takes a strong man to come home and engage his family instead of the recliner.

I don't say this next thing to be humorous: It takes a warrior heart to go into a room alone with your wife and ask the two most terrifying words a guy can utter, "What's wrong?"

It takes William Wallace courage to engage your wife in the really tough below-the-surface issues in a marriage. Friends, I have seen marriages in this church blow up and end in divorce; and at least one factor was that the man wouldn't take a stand, wouldn't take initiative;

he just came home, hung his masculinity on a hook and just let things be status quo day-in and day-out. And one he comes home to find that this time-release-bomb of unresolved or untouched emotions has exploded. Families in this town NEED men who are a little wild at heart and will jump into the terrifying arena of finding out how their wife is really doing. //

And why else do we need a warrior heart? Because there is a war on. Read the Bibleit's not a book of warm-fuzzy fables and bedtime stories! Cover to cover, there's turmoil, there are battles, there's a war on for people's souls. And until Jesus comes charging in like Braveheart (Rev 19) it will be that way.

That's why we drive ourselves nuts with making services that captivate peoplebecause it's not a war to be the most entertaining or the most coolit's a war for people's souls. If people come to Christ and grow up in Christ, that's victoryeternal victory.

The church and families must ride on the backs of strong men who are made in God's masculine image. Theirs is nothing easy about building a strong healthy church where people come to experience life change. There's nothing easy about slugging through the process of building a strong healthy marriage.

In the church and in your homes, we NEED men of God.

Men of God who will pray hard.

Men of God who will READ HIS WORD.

Men of God who will instill masculinity in their sons, telling them they are strong & they HAVE what it takes.

Men of God who will boldly take a stand; whether it's a stand at home with a marital issue, or a tough encounter with a child.

We need men of God who will pick up their God given masculinity and lead. This is a call for men to pull their heads out of the sand and push passiveness away. And this is a call for women to give their men the freedom and to encourage them to be who God has designed them to be.

1. BUY THE BOOK! (ppt) (I'll reimburse if you don't like itI bet Shelia I'd sell all 12!!)

2. Have some discussion about this on the ride home.

3. Dads, tell grown son you're proud of the man he is.