secretlife

About a month ago, I went to Indianapolis to have my first epidural steroid injection in my spine. When I went back into the pre-op area, the nurse noticed I was wearing shorts and a tee-shirt so she said I could just keep my clothes on for the procedure, after all the Doc was just going to make an injection in my back; no gown for me!

Well, after a little while in pre-op, I go back into the operating room where they do the procedure and they have me hop up on this table, on my stomach. I feel the Dr. raise the back of my shirt. That makes sense, he's going to put a shot in my lower back. Then to my surprise, I suddenly feel a little more "exposed", if you will.

Which, the Dr. quickly asks, "How do you feel?" "HOW DO I FEEL??!!" I thought to myself: Let me see, by my count, I'm the most under-dressed person in the room, and Hey, there's a female nurse in here too, Gee Doc, I feel swell!!

A few minutes later after he had numbed me up; which wasn't working, because I was still feeling the pain of embarrassment. Anyway, he started to inject the medicine. Now before this, they told me I wouldn't feel much pain with the anesthetic.

Well, when he started to inject the cortisone, it felt like he had taken a coat hanger, straightened it out, and was shoving it down a nerve the length of my leg. I'm tellin' you, if I was a horse, I would have kicked Dr. Torquemada clear across the room.

Well in the intense pain of the moment, which was seconds, but really felt like minutes, I was grasping for some "choice" words. The pain was too much I was going to have to say something. My mind quickly deduced that, being a Minister of the Gospel, it should be something on the "Elder-approved" list.

Well as it turned out, that was "Croc Week" on the Discovery channel. So every night that week I heard my hero Steve Irwin say, ("creiky" CLIP) which is the word he says in tense situations.

After exposing my mind to the excitement of the Crocodile Hunter all week, the only thing my pain-laiden mind could muster was, "Creiky!" And no, not just once, but several of times.

As the medicine was shoved in, "Creiky" came out. Yep, just me laying on a table pegging my embarrassment meter sayin', "Creiky"! Kind of makes you wish you were there doesn't it? Or not.

Contrary to what people around us see and hear, inside of each one of us, in our minds, there are things taking place that only we know exist. It's our secret life, of the mind if you will.

And I believe with all my heart and mind; that what we do with our thoughts is incredibly important; more important than the culture, or even the church in general leads us to believe.

But everybody's watching "Who Wants to be a Millionaire", "Survivor" and now our kids are watching 25 year old Brady Bunch reruns on Nick at Night. There are no comedies that don't have laugh tracks to let us know when something's funny.

Ad agencies are selling everything from shampoo to Uncle Ben's rice with sex. Some schmoe in a marketing meeting actually said, "Hey let's have this sudsy say, "This shampoo is organic" that kind of sex appeal will send those cyber-couch-drones flocking to CVS to buy some shampoo!

And rice. Is there anything more mundane, than rice? And yet the shampoo account exec's cousin poses the sexual question, "What can you do in 10 minutes?" Well I suppose if we're that robot-like as to equate the primary food of the most populated continent in the world with sex, then I'd say we can just forego Jack Nicholson's last scene in "One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest."

Let's not forget that we have free public education through 12th grade, albeit low on the free world chart, yet we print everything from the New York Times to the TV Guide on a seventh grade reading level. And believe it or not, somehow the National Enquirer stays in business posting juicy profits year after year in America.

Could it be we're becoming the most intellectually-challenged-sofa-lounging-mind-numbing-chip-chomping-pavlovian-commercial-driven-self-en
amoured-materialistic generation in USA history? Or is it just me? That's just my opinion, I could be wrong. Sorry, I got off on a rant there.

I minute ago I questioned if the church in general has done enough to make us aware of the importance of our thoughts. The reason I suggest that is, in almost all of the top lists of things the culture does poorly in, like divorce, bankruptcy, dabbling in pornography, people who refer to themselves as Christians don't statistically do any better in these categories.

I say that to say, it's not enough to look at just what we do, like go to church. We have to look deeper, to what goes on in our minds on a daily basis. Because here's today's first deal: What we think, influences what we do, or what we will do.

I want to give us 2 laws today that I've borrowed from John Ortberg. The first is called the Law of Cognition, which is simply: You are what you think. Over the last 38 years, studies have shown that the most dominant movement in American psychology is known as "cognitive psychology."

It's based on the concept that the way we think is the most important factor of who we are as people. The way we think creates our attitudes. The way we think shapes our emotions. The way we think affects our behavior.

"Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; But those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires." Romans 8:5

Doesn't that line up with the Law of Cogition? We are what we think? Paul is clearly saying, "If we think on sinful, destructive, or poor things, then that is the kind of fruit we will bear. We are indeed what we think.

Let's call a time out and do a little self exam right now. What character trait do you struggle with? Are you hot-tempered? Are you insensitive? Or on the flipside; what's your positive trait? Are you kind? Generous? Understanding? Cognitive research shows simply that "kind" people think kind thoughts. And "angry" people regularly think thoughts that breed resentment and hostility. We are what we think.

The second law is called the Law of Exposure. It goes like this: Your mind will think most about what it is most exposed to. My rant a few moments ago was a little tongue-in-cheek, but there were some serious issues there that apply to the Law of Exposure.

Then the next day, when have a few minutes with our friends in the office or over lunch, we talk about who the tribal counsel sent off the island last night. Instead of how we can better set our kids up to succeed. The Law of Exposure takes over. We talk about what we exposed our mind to last night. And please, I'm not perfect in this area, far from it.

I meet with a friend of mine almost every week for breakfast; been doing it the better part of the year. And sometimes I do talk about the stupid show I watched on TV last night, or the kind of drumsticks I'm playing with right now.

But I can chart you a pattern of what I bring to the table to talk about. It goes like this: When I have been exposing my mind to good books or good tapes I have new stuff to talk about and I'm excited to be there. When I've not exposed my mind to anything more than the TV, I'm more boring and I'm less excited about getting up early.

Lately, I happen to be reading a book that's rocked my world a little bit called "The Safest Place on Earth" by Dr. Larry Crabb. About a month ago Sandra and I had a rare day off together, we were going to spend the day together and then go to my favorite jazz club in Indy for some smokin' tunes and some N'awlens style food.

Now why is it we have to wait until we have a whole day together to have a fight? Anybody else there? And of course, it was my favorite kind of argument; the kind that you've been having in a nice regular dysfunctional pattern over the last few years.

But this time it took a different turn. The Law of Exposure kicked-in in the middle of it. I felt the conviction to own some the shortcomings in me that this book had already stirred up. It helped me own them in front of my wife. It helped me see one of her traits in a new light, and I shared that with her.

We came through the tunnel of chaos a little closer, because of the Law of Exposure. Had I not had any new stimulus to my thoughts, what are the odds I would have responded any differently to Sandra in that same ol' argument?

Timeout. What are you taking into your mind that will help you deal with the hurdles in your life any differently? Without feeding our mind something worth thinking about, how are the tough or cyclical areas of our lives going to be any different? Covey says it best: "Keep doing what you're doing, keep getting what you're getting."

I've got another, little more mundane example. For years, I would listen to Bob & Tom in the mornings on my way to work, for the obvious reasons; who doesn't want a laugh or two as you're trying to psych yourself up into your day?

But I started to notice something unsettling. You see, radio has always been a mentally visual medium. Know what I mean? What we hear on the radio, we visualize. What I observed about myself was that there was so much risqué humor that it helped form lude or inappropriate mental pictures in my mind.

The other thing I noticed was that after I got to work, I was more likely to tell an off-color joke or story that I'd heard. My behavior in small ways was becoming contrary to my faith.

I learned first hand through self awareness how listening to Bob & Tom was playing out in my life. I learned that the Laws of Exposure and Cognition are stronger and rule my mind more than my own will does. So I made my narrow minded decision and stopped listening to them.

I say narrow minded, because that's how I used to think. And I wouldn't be surprised if there aren't a handful of little thought balloons going up thinking the same thing right now.

If you would've told me a few years back what I just shared with you about Bob & Tom, I would have said something like, "Lighten up, Francis! It's just a little off-color humor. There's no harm done!"

But if I'm really honest with myself; I realize how the law of exposure affects me through that radio show by taking in a steady 5 day a week diet of it. And so I have to get past what others may think and do what I know is reality for me, which is to avoid it.

I see the law exposure maybe more clearly with the help of my 10 & 13 year old sons. Every time when we're driving in the car I let them listen to the radio station they want; up until certain violent, disrespectful, or obviously bleeped lyrics chime in. Then we have our classic confrontation.

"Why can't we listen to that?!" "Because it's not good for you and I'm your dad!" Or it happens when we try to pick-out a movie to go to. "Dad lets go see this one!" "Uh, how about something without an "R" rating. I'm not going to let you guys watch that kind of stuff?!"

Long before I knew what the law of exposure was, I didn't expose my kids to certain kinds of lyrics or certain images, because I instinctively knew it was bad for them. Instinctively, we know as parents how the law of exposure can be bad for our kids. We don't want our kids exposed to negative, lude, or extremely violent stuff.

BUT---Do we really realize that it works on us even though we're grown up adults? The law of exposure is like the law of gravity. It's fact that we have to deal with. Would we really be stupid enough to not buckle-up in our car thinking that we could just put our hands out to keep ourselves from smashing into the dashboard in the event of an accident? Absolutely not. We all agree that's ludicrous. We know the law of gravity would send us hurling into the dash. And so the Law of Exposure also sends us one way or the other.

But, do you think less than excellent thoughts, believing you can handle them, or there's no harm done? Do we think it's OK to be judgmental of others as long as it's just in our mind? Is it Ok to be envious; to daydream sexual thoughts; Isn't OK to think that spiritually at least we're further along than so-in-so?

Do you think these kinds of things are too small to matter; that here's so many haneious things going on in the world, that if we graded on a curve, my thoughts and actions are actually pretty good?

"The battle for the management of self; who's in charge; are won on these small playing fields. Say no or yes to the little things, and you set the stage for the day when you'll need the courage and the wisdom to say yes or no to the bigger things."

"The sins of the flesh are bad, but they are the least bad of all sins. All the worst pleasures are purely spiritual: the pleasures of putting other people in the wrong; the pleasures of power, of hatred. For these are the things inside me, competing with the human self which I must try to become. That is why a smug, cold, self-centered person who goes regularly to church may be far nearer to hell than a prostitute."

Here's some sobering questions: What can you quote more of: pitch lines from commercials or Bible verses? What kind of stories can you recount more of: top ten video rentals or stories in the Bible? Anybody besides me hurtin' yet?

Are you turning your television to anything enlightening, or just the same old soaps & sitcoms? What was the last book you read: Dr. Seuss to lull your kids to bed or a Jackie Collins romance novel?

Ore are most people you encounter angry, depressed, anxious, discontent, ungrateful, jealous, bitter, never satisfied, never truly happy? Are people you run into downright rude?

It is clear that the culture produces minds that think less than excellent thoughts; and that those thoughts germinate into actions from the rude person in the mall parking lot to the out-of-control students at Columbine high school.

Today's key verse, is, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things." or think excellent thoughts. (Philippians 4:8)

I believe with all my heart that one of the underlying factors as to why so many of us come here every week; and the fact that many of us actually look forward to getting out of bed on Sunday mornings, is because we get a solid hour of excellent thoughts.

Every element is either pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy. We get an hour of excellent thoughts every week, and when there's a Gathering like tonight: "bonus" We'll probably get 2 1/2 hours of excellent thoughts.

But here is my plea, friends: An hour of excellent thoughts a week is grossly insufficient to sustain us. Let's say it again. An hour of excellent thoughts a week is grossly insufficient to sustain us.

For us to live on 1 hour of excellent thoughts a week to fuel us to become fully devoted followers is as ridiculous as a runner eating one healthy meal on Sunday and then living on moon pies and RC cola between Monday and his marathon race on Saturday.

Let's get on the positive side of this excellent thoughts deal. It starts with awareness. We must, we must be aware of our secret life: the conversations, thoughts and images that occupy our mind every day. Start paying attention to it. Start realizing that it does matter what we think. Because remember, we are what we think, and our mind will think most about what we expose it to.

One of the ways I've been able to monitor my secret life has been through journaling. Have you ever been in a bad mood and not known why? Have you ever been short with your kids and said to yourself, "What was that about?"

Those are great opportunities to tap into our secret lives to find out "why" we're off track. A great way to start out journaling is to recount your last "less than stellar" handling of a situation. Write out what happened and then write, "Why did I just do that? What was driving me?" And then try to answer those questions.

For those who think, "I don't like writing" or to those who aren't open to new things, I'll simply ask, "Aren't you tired of entertaining the same old things? If there are deals that keep cycling around in your life, you must do different things---or you'll never go in a straight line----just continual circles.

The best thing about the Law of Cognition and the Law of Exposure is that they work miracles on the positive side. Here's my promise: If you start exposing your mind to excellent thoughts on a regular basis, I guarantee you'll see immediate results. Immediate. And the affects are nearly addictive.

The last few years I've become more aware of my secret life than ever before. I've realized that most of my struggles aren't external, in my behavior as much as they are struggles of the mind; struggles to "Keep my mind on higher things" as Mandy sang a little while ago.

And here's the cool thing: the more I have tried to nourish my mind on excellent thoughts, trying to read the Bible more, reading good books, saying "no" to negative influences; the more I move in that direction, the more I am aware of when I'm slipping in this area. It's like I get an "excellent thoughts" jones! Do you see? Positive intake creates positive cravings. One more time: Positive intake creates positive cravings.

As we take in God's word, it shapes our thoughts; it influences our actions; our emotions; our relationships; our souls. God's word transforms us. We are what we think, and our minds think most about what we expose it to.

Start drinking up the Bible and see how the Laws of Cognition & Exposure coupled with the Holy Spirit start transforming your mind, and therefore start transforming the parts of your life that you've been struggling with.

And not to take ANYTHING away from the Bible, but we live in a time where there is an unbelievable amount of books written by Christian men and women that can feed your mind like nobodies business. Almost anything that you struggle with, you can find a book about.

Can I push you a bit here? I see the thought balloons going up, "Why stop now?!!" I have a little bit of a pet peave that I call "mindless Christianity." Part of it is what some are calling Biblical illiteracy. We have more Bibles in more translations than any time in history. I know that there are certain parts of the Bible that are much more difficult than others. It's not a coincidence that we haven't done a series on Revelation yet! BUT, for the most part, if you can read on a 7th grade level, you can make sense of more of it than not. There are so many easy-to-understand versions of the Bible out there. So far I've seen everything except the "ebonics" Bible. We have more study aids than ever before that will help us understand it. We have everything except what U2 calls desire. Friends take this in the constructive loving nudge that I mean it. The Word of GodIs it in you?

Part 2 of my peave is this: As Christ-follower these days, we have the most potent arsenal at our disposal: We have the Trinity of God, we have the Bible, and we have inspired writings on everything from finances to marriages. Yet, we continue on in our "same old deals" with little more than the comfort that someday everything's going to be OK when we finally go upstairs.

Friends, God calls us to feed this mind He gave us with His excellent thoughts, whether it's through his Word or the inspired work of contemporary authors and artists. Do something different to fight the same old problems.

I want to share with you how excellent thoughts can work in the family. A few weeks ago I had a bittersweet experience with my second oldest son. The last year or so he and I have been known to butt-heads on a fairly regular basis. It hasn't been uncommon for the two of us to have a regular "test of wills."

Every year his grandmother sends him to a Christian summer camp over by Converse. In the middle of the week I got a call from his camp counselor. "Hello, Mr. Young, this is "so-n-so" from Rainbow Christian Camp and I'm calling about your son, Christian."

I'm so glad he was not aware of my secret life; of the thoughts I just had. Which to my shame were becoming typical. In my mind I had become quick to think the worst about him. In my mind I wasn't seeing all he was, just the parts that were bugging me.

So that Friday I went to the camp and saw their last worship service. After the service the counselor, the same one who'd called, began to give out awards. The last award was "The Most Christ-Like Award."

"This is for the camper who has most tried help other people and impacted them in positive ways throughout the week," he said. As he was saying this, the kids started pointing at my son. And sure enough he called him up to receive the award.

But as I sat there in the back of that service, and saw how they perceived him; I also thought about what Joanne his Kidsville small group leader has told me again & again about how helpful he is.

And I couldn't escape the gnawing feeling underlying the feeling of pride in him; the underlying truth about me; that I had been guilty of thinking less than excellent thoughts about him That too often I focused on our differences or our points of disagreement; how in my mind I wasn't seeing him as a "10", but as something much less; and how that I knew those thoughts manifested themselves into my actions, feeding our less than excellent relationship.

I am so incredibly thankful for that moment where God allowed me to see my son as He sees him. From that very moment, I have been thinking excellent thoughts about my son, I am consciously see him as a "10" and it is changing our relationship.

How we think about those in our families effects how we relate to the people we're closest too. As I put this message together I wondered how many marriages that ended in divorce started with less than excellent thoughts about one's spouse. I wonder right now, in this room, how many marriages are strained because we are focusing on our unmet needs, or the shortcomings of our spouse more than we are having excellent thoughts about all of their positive traits and all they do for us.

I guarantee you one thing, when Sandra and I are in an argument, it's because one or both of us is entertaining less than excellent thoughts about the other. And the opposite is true; when we're on cloud nine, we're thinking how much we appreciate each other; we're thinking about the virtues the other person brings to the marriage.

Folks, do you want to impact a marriage? Do you want to impact a child? Think about what they do well; think about what they mean to you; in your mind are you catching them do something right, or you continually catching them doing something wrong?

Friends, think excellent thoughts about each other and see what kind of actions that produces in you. Then next week tell me how it's going. Watch how your excellent thoughts produce positive results.

I said a few moments ago how journaling can help us monitor our thoughts. Here's a journal entry from Sept. last year when we were still suffering from the drought of the summer:

"I look out my window as I usually do. Today behind the wall of trees, their leaves now beginning to turn, a large hunk of dark gray clouds sneaks up on them. I say, "Bring the rain, Lord." All the way into work today I saw the dark gray wall behind me in my mirror. In front of me I saw a bright sky, but over my shoulder, the clouds kept creeping.

Somehow inside I felt the same. At a glance at my innards everything looked o.k. But behind that, tension was brewing. Tension between Sandra and me last night; tension leftover from a conversation with a friend, yesterday. Tension from not enough recreation, or something.

I tried a little detour through the park, trying to escape into nature listening to a Christian radio station hungrily hoping for an enlightening message, or phrase from a song, something that would help me feel more peace.

But in the rear view mirror, the dark clouds kept coming. It seemed I couldn't wait to get here to the safety of my office. I was early enough to beat everyone else in; early enough to have what I was craving; real solitude. After a little Oswald Chambers, I looked up through my window seeing the clouds, "Bring the rain," I said, knowing how much we all truly need it; something to soften the ground, to soak the earth.

And only a split second after I said those words, my inner being said, "Lord, bring the rain in here." I am due for my God to let loose his cleansing in my life. Mornings like this I seem only to clutter my brain and heart with confusing and tension-filled thoughts. And it's at this point I realize there's too much of me inside and not enough of my Saviour.

And now I say with more conviction, "Lord, bring your rain down upon me! I become so tired of myself and so ready and needy of you. I want the rain of your "Living Water" to have its way in me, to bring peace, to bring perspective, to bring more of You and way less of me."

Storms: at first sight, I don't embrace them; I evade them, take cover, get away from them. Somehow, "storm equals bad thing." But then I realize, the storm brings the rain; and how we need the rain. Sometimes I know I need God but I'm reluctant or hesitant to turn to him; I evade him. And when I finally do come to Him, I feel foolish for my reluctance.

Sometimes I want the rain, but yet I don't want to get wet. Sometimes I want God, but not necessarily on his vulnerable terms. Sometimes I want to control; like I do the storm; choosing if and when to get wet; when to stay inside away from the rain; when to walk out and be soaked by it.

I choose when I will be vulnerable with God; when I will purge my emotions; when I will give up control. And times like now, I see my stubbornness for what it is; a barrier to the One who brings the Living Water. I choose to control and reap the results: a tension filled drive to work, tension with Sandra, and an unquenchable thirst for peace. God stands close the whole time waiting for me to release control, to remove my raincoat. 'Lord, bring the rain.'"

That journal entry screams of one the major themes in my life: Control. Am I really going to let God be in control of my life; of my thoughts; or am I? And I believe this is the tension we all must face in thinking excellent thoughts: Whose life is it? Whose mind is it? Who's really in control?

Our mission is to develop fully devoted followers of Christ. Where are you today? Are you fully devoted? Are you partially devoted? To be partially devoted is to be divided; one half devoted to the culture, one half devoted to God.

It's much like standing with your right foot in one row-boat, and your left foot in an adjacent row-boat. You probably won't get very far. You may fall on your butt. And eventually when things get choppy you're going to have to commit one way or the other.

Are we really up to being "fully devoted?" If so, it begins no longer conforming to the patterns of the world, but being transformed by the renewing of our minds, by thinking excellent thoughts.

Friends, I am passionate about this subject; for one reason; and that is YOU have so much potential. Everyone of us is interconnected: to somebody, to our family, to our spouse, to our parents, our coworkers, people we serve with around here, the people we sit with every week.

When we start intentionally feeding our minds that which is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable; whatever is excellent and praiseworthy.

By taking in God's word, by reading good books, by saying "no" to negative influences. We begin to interact in more excellent ways with each other, and as God renews our minds, families get renewed, souls get renewed, and the church becomes the hope of the world.

Friends, start to monitor, your thoughts. Realize that you are what you think. Know that your mind thinks most about what you most expose it to. And starting today, pick something or someone in your life; feed your mind something excellent about it. Commit to thinking excellent thoughts about them. Please start right now.