4.1.05 8:46am poo on evolution -morgan young We're currently a couple weeks into being "dog people." So now there's this strange sleek creature ambling about our house and our backyard: Cleo, the ex-racing greyhound. Since she's new to the Young compound, I often accompany her outside just to be sure she's staying out of flower beds and not trying to eat the trampoline. And I also make sure she's taking care of her business. sidebar: Who was the kook who came up with the word "business" when a dog decides to drop a load? Can't you just see the doggie board room now? A tall-walled long rectangular mahogany adorned room; a massive monolith of a table. Business clad dogs file in, some wearing wire rim glasses; all carrying briefcases. Finally a substantial bloodhound with a bow tie saunters up to the head of the table and says in an authoritative voice, "Alright, let's get down to business," whereupon they all open their briefcases and deposit said business. So a few days ago, there I am, making sure she's doing the obligatory rear door evacuation drill, and it occured to me, "Why is it that dogs---these creatures who have seemingly not evolved as much as we far superior human types---why don't they need toilette tissue?" And it's just one of those benign random thoughts, but then I can't let it go. I kept going over her game film: she sniffs, squats, drops, and moves on. No mess (well, besides on the grass but that's another article). I don't have to wipe her. She can come directly in and plop her rump right down on her cream colored doggie pillow and there's no mess, no sign of what she's just been up to. The more I thought about this streamlined model of efficiency, the more impressed I became (jealous may be the better word). Then I thought about the little potty dance that you and I do. In fact, right now in your mind, walk yourself through your "business" routine step by step. Go ahead, I'll wait... (whiste, whistle, look at the ceiling, look at watch, whistle some more...) You and I need a special room, a special porcelain pedestal, perfumed and oiled tissue, an inside bird bath with anti-microbial disinfectant soap and a towel; heck, some humans even need reading material. And even with all these accoutrements there can still be UPS racing stripes. As I've compared how humans and our four legged friends "take out the trash," I've deduced that "in the business world" these pea-brained canines are more "evolved" than we are. And if we are so "evolved," then why are we so behind the curve of canines and basically all the other animals in this regard? Certainly evolution would be about becoming better, simpler, more streamlined. Certainly a more highly evolved human could at least be as good as less evolved animals: by now we should be able to walk into the powder room, hover over the target and open the bomb bay doors without having to involve the hands, right? Apparently not. And if we descended from apes, then in this regard we have apparently devolved, as apes are hands free as well. To me, this is just another piece of evidence to prove that evolution doesn't add up. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go take care of some business... |
4.1.05 8:46am poo on evolution -morgan young We're currently a couple weeks into being "dog people." So now there's this strange sleek creature ambling about our house and our backyard: Cleo, the ex-racing greyhound. Since she's new to the Young compound, I often accompany her outside just to be sure she's staying out of flower beds and not trying to eat the trampoline. And I also make sure she's taking care of her business. sidebar: Who was the kook who came up with the word "business" when a dog decides to drop a load? Can't you just see the doggie board room now? A tall-walled long rectangular mahogany adorned room; a massive monolith of a table. Business clad dogs file in, some wearing wire rim glasses; all carrying briefcases. Finally a substantial bloodhound with a bow tie saunters up to the head of the table and says in an authoritative voice, "Alright, let's get down to business," whereupon they all open their briefcases and deposit said business. So a few days ago, there I am, making sure she's doing the obligatory rear door evacuation drill, and it occured to me, "Why is it that dogs---these creatures who have seemingly not evolved as much as we far superior human types---why don't they need toilette tissue?" And it's just one of those benign random thoughts, but then I can't let it go. I kept going over her game film: she sniffs, squats, drops, and moves on. No mess (well, besides on the grass but that's another article). I don't have to wipe her. She can come directly in and plop her rump right down on her cream colored doggie pillow and there's no mess, no sign of what she's just been up to. The more I thought about this streamlined model of efficiency, the more impressed I became (jealous may be the better word). Then I thought about the little potty dance that you and I do. In fact, right now in your mind, walk yourself through your "business" routine step by step. Go ahead, I'll wait... (whiste, whistle, look at the ceiling, look at watch, whistle some more...) You and I need a special room, a special porcelain pedestal, perfumed and oiled tissue, an inside bird bath with anti-microbial disinfectant soap and a towel; heck, some humans even need reading material. And even with all these accoutrements there can still be UPS racing stripes. As I've compared how humans and our four legged friends "take out the trash," I've deduced that "in the business world" these pea-brained canines are more "evolved" than we are. And if we are so "evolved," then why are we so behind the curve of canines and basically all the other animals in this regard? Certainly evolution would be about becoming better, simpler, more streamlined. Certainly a more highly evolved human could at least be as good as less evolved animals: by now we should be able to walk into the powder room, hover over the target and open the bomb bay doors without having to involve the hands, right? Apparently not. And if we descended from apes, then in this regard we have apparently devolved, as apes are hands free as well. To me, this is just another piece of evidence to prove that evolution doesn't add up. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go take care of some business... |
