moonwalk

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8.15.00

12:40 pm

Contemplating the Moon Walk -Morgan Young

I just read through the "My Storys" of people that are going to be baptized in two weeks. In a few of them, my eyes developed salt water leaks. The powerful watermark of the Gospel was embedded in all of them. It gave me a close-up view of people that I knew from a distance. It seems clear from here that the power of Christ gets stronger the more it gets a chance to be shared. His power becomes like a supernatural cold that is easily caught; and with a punch that gives me pause. I'm struck though, with how it feels; that I need to "catch it." Why don't I continually feel "terminally infected" with His Spirit? I always know He's there, the way I know there is weightlessness in space; but if only I always felt it, like the feeling that I know I have a fever. That kind of knowledge is sure; it's not if I have a temperature, it's just a matter of what degree.

So, I suppose my fever for Christ is hotter some days than others. And when I'm feeling only mildly warm, what unsettlement does occur. If I'm learning anything these days, it's that every concept is simple in understanding and implementation until it's tagged with the dreaded prefix, "self." Self-management. Self discipline. Self-awareness. Self-sacrifice. And like my health, I have a lot to do with how healthy I am, but not entirely. And like my spiritual fever, that too has a lot to do with me, but not entirely. I keep waiting for the concept of osmosis to kick-in and radically bring power to my Walk and all things unhealthy in my character. That's one of my big lies; the idea that I will drift into higher levels of Spirituality and I will nip the nags that lie in my dark shadows through osmosis. Maybe subconsciously I view Christianity as a long car wash; as long as I stay within the grooves and keep poking along I will surely come out cleaner; the spots will be removed through no real effort of my own.

When I read the "My Storys," on one level I was perhaps jealous. They are so new and excited. Things seem most naturally energized in the beginning. It's almost like the early days of dating; excited just with the thought of being together. The early days after becoming one of His, are like picking low-hanging fruit; It's right there. Easily attained. Sometimes now, I feel like gaining ground in my Walk entails getting past the low-hanging fruit and putting "self" in front of easily understood concepts; but not entirely. In other words, I feel like the low-hanging fruit in my life has been the easy adjustments: Scheduling my daytimer around Him and making the character changes that aren't deeply embedded. To me, the fruit that's higher up has to do with the parts of me that I see more than anyone else. They are the cause-and-affect relationships from childhood that are now ingrained traits that I find unattractive and stubborn. They are the things that God seems to be pressing me on. They are the things I am most reluctant to fully engage in for fear of failure. They are the things, when voiced (if at all), that make me most vulnerable. They are fruit that hang much higher in the tree. I don't like heights. To grab the fruit will put me at higher risk. I question if I will come back with it.

As I write all this, it seems that once again my perspective is skewed. Once again there is to much of me in these word pictures. I seem to have an inaccurate understanding of self-discipline. Yes, there is a level that I must do, that requires my pro-activity; but as soon as it's all about me, then it's all fouled up. Instead of the prefix "self" I should entertain "shared." What word could I put "self" in front of that I couldn't do with my Father who wants me to do life (all of it) with Him? Shared-discipline. Shared-awareness. Shared-management.

I stood up for Him in a message about doing "All things through Christ who gives us strength." Maybe I wrestled too much with the mechanics of the talk and not enough with what He has for me in that verse. He seems to be poking His gentle finger into my chest and saying, "You can go after the high-hanging fruit in your life, through Me who will give you strength." He is the God of the high hanging fruit every bit as much as the low-hanging fruit. Right now, I feel as if I know that; like I know there's weightlessness in space. Perhaps He's calling me to a moonwalk on a mission to go after the high-hanging fruit.



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		8.15.00 12:40 pm Contemplating the Moon Walk -Morgan Young I just read through the "My Storys" of people that are going to be baptized in two weeks. In a few of them, my eyes developed salt water leaks. The powerful watermark of the Gospel was embedded in all of them. It gave me a close-up view of people that I knew from a distance. It seems clear from here that the power of Christ gets stronger the more it gets a chance to be shared. His power becomes like a supernatural cold that is easily caught; and with a punch that gives me pause. I'm struck though, with how it feels; that I need to "catch it." Why don't I continually feel "terminally infected" with His Spirit? I always know He's there, the way I know there is weightlessness in space; but if only I always felt it, like the feeling that I know I have a fever. That kind of knowledge is sure; it's not if I have a temperature, it's just a matter of what degree. So, I suppose my fever for Christ is hotter some days than others. And when I'm feeling only mildly warm, what unsettlement does occur. If I'm learning anything these days, it's that every concept is simple in understanding and implementation until it's tagged with the dreaded prefix, "self." Self-management. Self discipline. Self-awareness. Self-sacrifice. And like my health, I have a lot to do with how healthy I am, but not entirely. And like my spiritual fever, that too has a lot to do with me, but not entirely. I keep waiting for the concept of osmosis to kick-in and radically bring power to my Walk and all things unhealthy in my character. That's one of my big lies; the idea that I will drift into higher levels of Spirituality and I will nip the nags that lie in my dark shadows through osmosis. Maybe subconsciously I view Christianity as a long car wash; as long as I stay within the grooves and keep poking along I will surely come out cleaner; the spots will be removed through no real effort of my own. When I read the "My Storys," on one level I was perhaps jealous. They are so new and excited. Things seem most naturally energized in the beginning. It's almost like the early days of dating; excited just with the thought of being together. The early days after becoming one of His, are like picking low-hanging fruit; It's right there. Easily attained. Sometimes now, I feel like gaining ground in my Walk entails getting past the low-hanging fruit and putting "self" in front of easily understood concepts; but not entirely. In other words, I feel like the low-hanging fruit in my life has been the easy adjustments: Scheduling my daytimer around Him and making the character changes that aren't deeply embedded. To me, the fruit that's higher up has to do with the parts of me that I see more than anyone else. They are the cause-and-affect relationships from childhood that are now ingrained traits that I find unattractive and stubborn. They are the things that God seems to be pressing me on. They are the things I am most reluctant to fully engage in for fear of failure. They are the things, when voiced (if at all), that make me most vulnerable. They are fruit that hang much higher in the tree. I don't like heights. To grab the fruit will put me at higher risk. I question if I will come back with it. As I write all this, it seems that once again my perspective is skewed. Once again there is to much of me in these word pictures. I seem to have an inaccurate understanding of self-discipline. Yes, there is a level that I must do, that requires my pro-activity; but as soon as it's all about me, then it's all fouled up. Instead of the prefix "self" I should entertain "shared." What word could I put "self" in front of that I couldn't do with my Father who wants me to do life (all of it) with Him? Shared-discipline. Shared-awareness. Shared-management. I stood up for Him in a message about doing "All things through Christ who gives us strength." Maybe I wrestled too much with the mechanics of the talk and not enough with what He has for me in that verse. He seems to be poking His gentle finger into my chest and saying, "You can go after the high-hanging fruit in your life, through Me who will give you strength." He is the God of the high hanging fruit every bit as much as the low-hanging fruit. Right now, I feel as if I know that; like I know there's weightlessness in space. Perhaps He's calling me to a moonwalk on a mission to go after the high-hanging fruit.