moms_day

By the way, to some extent I feel like me speaking on motherhood is synonymous with giving a dissertation on what it's like to be a North American iguana. Quite simply I don't know what it's like to be either one. Nevertheless, I hope you'll dump a bucket of grace on me as we experience what God has for us in regard to motherhood! And also; guys, today's message is kind of like the big screen TV, or the patio furniture you bought for your wife; it's really for all of us;-)

It seemed she had just returned from renewing her driver's license at The County Clerk's office. Asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation, Emily had hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.

I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a situation career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high-sounding title like "Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar."

The clerk paused, ball point pen frozen in midair, and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly, emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pompous pronouncement was written in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.

Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing program of research (what mother doesn't) in the laboratory and in the field (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters (the whole darned family)and already have four credits (all daughters).

"Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day (24 is more like it), but the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are in satisfaction rather than just money."

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door. As I drove into our driveway, pumped up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants - ages 13, 7, and 3.

Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model (our 6 month-old) in the child-development program, testing out a new vocal pattern.

I felt triumphant! I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official record as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another mother"!!! Motherhood...what a glorious career. Especially when there's a title on the door.//

That little story and today's drama help make clear what we all know to be true about motherhood; it is a demanding responsibility that is challenging for women to say the least.

And on behalf of all the men here, I just want to say that we know it's demanding and we appreciate ALL that you do in our families. Because as some women have told me, it's not always clear from the cave-man-like grunting noises coming from the living room recliner that we men are aware of all your efforts.

Exodus 20:12 says, "Honor your father and your mother" And in this service my prayer is that, mom's, you are honored for all that you have done, all that you do, and all that you will do for your children and your husbands, often at your own expense.//

I will readily admit that at this point in history, you mothers out there are not making me envy your position. I know full well that like the story I read a moment ago, motherhood in and of itself is a full time occupation. And I'm also aware that it pays so poorly, that I understand many women have to take up jobs outside the home;-)

And women working outside the home reminds me a lot of the current trend in the job market right now. Employers are "downsizing" but the remaining employees must still deliver the same product and services with fewer bodies.

I'm not so naïve that I don't realize too, that mothers with paying jobs must also come home to deliver the same or nearly the same level of love, nurturing, work and toil as their stay at home counterparts. (By the way, is it me or has "stay at home mom" become an oxymoron. Perhaps the phrase, "continually in and out of the mini-van mom" is more descriptive!)

Well my point in all this is, I've never met a mother yet who works outside the home who is still not, the primary care giver.

And when I look at how much a mother has to do in our culture, I start to go down the road of "look how full the life of mothers has become---look at how challenging we've made it."

OKAY---so basically even a few thousand years ago, a "good wife" got up at the crack of dawn, did everything under the sun for her kids, husband and ANYONE in need, and then went to bed with a smile on her face! ;-)

So right now, moms, in front of God and everyone, we would like to publicly acknowledge how challenging your role is, and say how much we appreciate all that is on your plate and give you kudos for standing tough in sometimes challenging situations. Guys, sons and daughters, let's honor and appreciate the mothers of us all, with a hearty and sincere show of applause right now. (applause)

In Sherry and Sarah's song, they sang that "all we have to offer is the legacy we leave behind." They also sang "children see us as we aretheir lives are waiting to discern all they can learn from us."

There are perhaps fewer things in life more important than what we leave our children with. And you know I'm not speaking of a monetary inheritance, but an inheritance of traits, values, character and beliefs.

I can't image anything more highly prized to a mother than to have raised up her children well, to have given them a rich legacy. And the truth is, the legacy we give them is all in the life we live in front of them. The song lyrics said, "Children see us as we are" not how we tell them to see us. You could say that lyric is a paraphrase of Ezekiel 16:44, "like mother, like daughter."

When I look at this whole enchilada that we call motherhood, I see how much time and effort mothers put in, in any given week. I've seen a friend on the music team shed some tears brought on by the unknown of having her first child in a matter of days; the fear of being a rookie mom in the fragile life she would soon hold in her new mommy arms.

I've seen older moms savvy in the world of new-borns trying to keep pace with the changing personalities of adolescents; trying to stay relationally connected with sons and daughters that seem to now be ever-changing.

I look at the concept of a mother leaving a legacy to her child and on one hand I am inspired by it; and on the other I can't help but realize the potential fear and pressure of "like mother, like daughter." Which basically means they potentially will be us; the honest us; the good and the not-so-good.

And after looking at this wide-sweeping scope of motherhood, I sat with my head in my hands and wondered about all the questions that mothers here might have, like:

How do you find the power to keep going when your current domestic situation less resembles Leave it to Beaver and more resembles a made for TV movie where "viewer discretion is advised"?

How do you find the power to believe God is really with you when it feels like it's you and your mini-van against the world?

I believe in simplest terms, the answer to the toughest questions, concerns and doubts of motherhood, can be dealt with by having a regular cup of coffee at the soul café.

This table here, is going to represent your soul café this morning. The soul café is any place, but what is crucial is that it's a place where you stop being an employee; you stop being a wife; and you stop being a mother.

When I was trying to get a handle on God's message for today, I spoke with one of the moms I know that I would best describe with the words wisdom and grace. I was picking her brain on what she had learned through a couple decades of being a mother. And she said the biggest mistake she ever made was, for a time, taking care of her children's needs at the expense of her own spiritual cravings. She said the worst thing was for her to lose touch with who she was in the eyes of Christ. "I didn't serve them well by sacrificing my time with God for them," she told me.

When my friend sought the kingdom second, she found motherhood didn't work the way it was supposed to. And if I can respectfully admonish you today, I think there is a natural tendency for mothers to understandably "focus on the family" if you will. And my gentle nudge for you is to focus more on the condition of your soul in relation to Christ.

Because here's a cup of truth: We don't build stronger families by focusing on families, letting children, husbands or jobs come between us and God. Only by focusing on God can each of us have His focus for our family.

I want to ask you to take a quick little soul survey that I borrowed from Bill Hybels. But first, let's be clear about what we mean when we say soul. It is simply the part of us that is not physical like bones, flesh, and organs. In simple terms, our soul is all the invisible parts of us; the emotions, feelings and attitudes we have towards ourselves, those around us and God.

When the Bible talks about our soul or inner self, it says a healthy soul should be like a spring of living water. And describes the opposite with words like barren-ness, aridness, dryness. So right now, when it comes to your soul, your attitude and emotions toward others and God; is your soul, or inner self bubbly and fresh like you would imagine a mountain spring? Is it a trickle, as if your son or daughter didn't quite turn the faucet completely off? Or is it more like the Mojave Desert?

Regardless of where your soul is today, take comfort in this: We all need constantly refilled. We all need regular Holy Hiatus' where we as Psalm 46:10 says; we stop, are still, and know that He is God. (m.y. paraphrase)

The soul café is a place where we stop and drop our agendas du jour. Where we realize that as much as we are in control (& moms you wield a lot of control) that ultimately we aren't in control. Holy coffee breaks remind us that God is in control; that He is at the top of our family flow chart.

The soul café is a place where when we seek God, we are reminded that He is everywhere, He is all-powerful and all-knowing. And the truth is it's hard to stop and sit in the presence of an almighty God and not help but feel small---and with that realization, our backpack of pressure somehow feels smaller too.

I like the way Leonard Sweet put it. He said, "We are not in the Secret Service; we are in the Spirit's service. Touched by the Holy Spirit, we can think more clearly; feel more deeply; speak more truthfully; love more extravagantly; serve more creatively; give more lavishly; live more fully."//

Let's go back to our "Hymn to a Good Wife" from Proverbs 31 (Msg) for a minute, because I saved a few verses that were written specifically to husbands and children.

And moms, here's your chance to participate this morning. If you feel so inclined, in the next few minutes, to toss out an "Amen!" or a "Preach it!"

Men, the author of this Scripture clearly tells us we need to praise our wives. In fact to "festoon" which means to decorate her with praises.

By the way, my wife is loving this part right now. She is forever reminding me that what she needs is for me to be her biggest cheerleader. And why is she always reminding me? Because I don't do a very good job at it. Now, she has a Biblical precedent!

So guys, the Bible is telling us, you and me, that we need to APPRECIATE and PRAISE our wives. (play with this---repeat after me etc.)

Notice too that children are to "respect and bless" their mother, and husbands are to "give her what she deserves." Do you suppose that mom's should not have to fight and claw for some time of their own for a Holy Hiatus?

Or, do you feel they should be able to take off the mother hat to be the daughter of her Father in Heaven without feeling guilty?

Do you suppose she "deserves" that? Do you think she would feel "respected and blessed" if her family helped make time at the soul café possible?

Then I submit to us as husbands and children; that it is our job to set this table (prop), to help make it possible for mom to check out of her role for a while to check into the soul café. Guys when was the last night that you kicked yourself and the kids out of the house for an hour or so? When was the last time your wife got to drive an empty mini-van around and go wherever she wanted to?

Well, it's the time you've all been waiting for! Now is the third installment of Morgan's Who's Who! And I am confident someone will know who this one.

Yes, this is Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. And it's reported that Mozart was fond of saying, "I can tell a good musician by the way he plays the rests."

Christ followers can't afford to ignore the "rests" and the "silences" because they are the things that make us good musicians; or good mothers.

As a musician myself, how do you suppose I would feel after playing an hour set of all up-tempo tunes with very busy drum parts? Of course, very tired and worn down.

Likewise, moms, how do you feel in the course of a week when there seems to be no siesta between the time the alarm screams in the morning, and the time you collapse into bed some 16 hours later? Drained? Depleted? Done?!

But even more important than our physical need for coffee breaks, is our soul's need to sense the presence of God. And we know He is God during the "rests" in the song of our day.

And if you would say to me today that your day and your week is just too full for a measly cup of coffee at the soul café; then my response to you is to listen to what you just said or thought; you may be saying your life is too full.

Someone once said that character is living out what we say that we believe. When we accept Christ into our lives, we prayed for forgiveness of our sins and we prayed for God to be the Lord, the most important thing, in our life.

Respectfully friends, is our Lord with us only as we run from task-to task-to task, as if He's a dashboard ornament that we know is always there? Or are there little pockets of time, little Holy coffee breaks in the course of your day or week where it's all about Him?

Please let us not be fooled into thinking that if we mature enough as a woman or man of God that we will get to a place where we will just always sense God's will for us in the midst of our mach 2 pace of life.(pause) Is God there at mach 2? Yes, He is always with us. But how much do we sense His "still small voice" at mach 2?

And guys, in the context of Mr. Mozart's quote, it's our God-honoring duty to sit in for a verse or two, and enable mom to enjoy some "rests." //

This morning I wasn't planning to talk about "how" we relate to God so much, because that in itself is an entire Sunday, but I did run across 1 thing on prayer that I'd really like to share with mothers today. (PP "Praying out" vs. "Praying in")

In our hustling, baby spit cleaning, kid-taxi-ing, sports event-laden, college tuition attempt at paying, medical bill surviving, parental lifestyle; I wonder how many prayers we offer up on the fly, that we're basically trying to pray our way out of something. Here's what I'm talking about:

Your fifteen year old daughter says should care less about your age 16 dating rule, and reminds you that she can do what she wants while she's at school; time to pray your way out.

You're running late and it's your turn to pick-up half the kids on your block at soccer practice, when you look down to see you're doing 45 mph in a 35 in front of the youngest police officer you've seen yet; time to pray your way out.

Now from another perspective, perhaps while taking a Holy hiatus at the soul café you have a little more time to reflect on the events of the last couple of days and you realize again that God is the Lord of your whole life. So instead of praying escape hatch prayers, instead of praying our way out; we begin to pray our way in to God's plan for our life. And it goes more like this:

Worried about the strain of your finances and hating the pinched feeling you always seem to have; trust God's plan and pray your way in to a new examination of what is an authentic life and what is just lifestyle.

Grieving over a spouse who is no longer in your home; trust God's plan and pray your way in to a new possibility for your life.

Finding that the demands on your time are causing your blood pressure to rise, your head to pound and your nerves to snap; trust God's plan and pray your way in to a slower more Mayberry-like pace.

Finding it harder and more un-natural to connect with a rapidly growing adolescent; trust God and pray your way in to a new level of grace and understanding.

Friends, there's a great deal of life and especially motherhood that is beyond our control. We cannot run the show; in fact, it's not our show to run. So the next time you go to the soul café, (soon!) trust God's plan and pray your way in to a life that yields to Him, in all things.//

I am not a sociologist, but I have been around long enough to know that whenever we get this many people together and talk about things like honoring moms for all of their hard work and love; and when we talk about God-honoring legacies; there's bound to be some cringing going on in some souls; cringing that reflects regrets.

I can imagine that some moms would like to have a do-over either in whole or in part. And perhaps there are some adult children here that still struggle with part of the not-so-wonderful legacy that they inherited.

And to those of you in whom I've just struck a chord, I want to remind you of the foundation on which Christianity stands; which is also the place where our faith starts for all of us who call ourselves Christ followers.

I'm talking about grace. When we come into a relationship with Christ, we offer Him all of our regrets; all the things that deserve a do-over; all of our sin. And in response to all those things, His grace says, "I love you anyway."

If we've entered into a relationship with Christ, we received grace for all of our sins. And it's as if God gave grace to us on a baton like this. (relay baton)

Because it's something we need to hand off to everyone we come in contact with who needs it, especially those in our families; moms; sons and daughters; and perhaps all of the above. When we pass on the grace baton, it says, "I love you anyway, mom; I love you anyway, son; I love you anyway, daughter"

Do you need to hand your mom the grace baton? Or mom, if you're in a relationship with God, but still have regrets; then I'm asking you to give it all up to Him today. And mom, if you're not in a relationship with Christ, but want to be; come on down in a minute, and I'll be glad to share it with you.

Today's message is for all the mothers who froze their buns off on metal bleachers at football games Friday night, instead of watching from cars so that when their kids asked, "Did you see me?" they could say, "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world,"

This is for all the mothers who sat up all night with fevered toddlers in their arms, rocking them & cooling their brow, the whole time saying, "It's OK honey, Mommy's here."

This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see. And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.

For the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, watching the Columbine High news, and then put a vice-grip hug on their own child who just came home from school, safely.

For all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies. And for all the mothers who wanted to; but just couldn't.

This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair and then realize the haunting phrase, "MY kids will never act like THAT."

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.

This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouse and diapers in their purse.

This is for all the mothers whose heads turn automatically when a little voice calls "Mom?" in a crowd, even though they know their own kids are at home.

This is for all the mothers who sent their sons to school with stomachaches, assuring them they'd be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up right away.

Moms, you need to offload your mini-van full of responsibilities; to stop being a mother for this Holy hiatus; where you are only the daughter of your Father in Heaven.

The replenishing irony of motherhood, is that the best legacy a mother can leave a child is to model what it means to be a child of God herself.

God, on behalf of everyone here, I'd like to pray us in to a life that puts you at the top and longs for Your will in all areas of our life. God, I trust you and pray all of the mothers here today, in to a deeper awareness of your presence every day of their lives. God, I thank you for all of the times Your Spirit worked through a mother's touch. I thank you for the gift of life represented by every single person here right now. And God, I pray Your baton of grace in to every family that needs it today. God, for myself and all the guys here today, I pray us in to becoming men who serve and praise our wives well.