greaterthan

By about June it's easy to look at trees and see health. By that time, all the leaves are full-on green, they're all hopped-up on chlorophyll. And unless you have "Mr. Destructo" kids around, the trunks of trees look strong and the barks in good shape.

And for the most part, we're very similar. Most of the time when we see each other walking around the church, or school, the ball game etc., on the outsideto the naked eye, we look pretty healthy too---we look good--together.

But if we took one of those healthy trees with the good looking leaves and sturdy bark, and cut a cross-section of it, we'd see some interesting stuff that we couldn't see from the outside.

When we look inside a tree we can see its history---its story of tell-tale scars and the bumps along the way. The things that hurt it, the times when it took a hit.

I wonder what it would look like if we could look at our cross-sections---what kind of bumps and scars would our "growth rings" reveal?

It's hard to imagine how many childhood growth ring hurts are in a room like this. Things like:

Or sometimes it's the scar that doesn't sound that bad, but it's just as damaging---like the mom or dad that didn't really noticed you---didn't praise you---didn't seem to love you quite as much---didn't tell you they loved you.

So many times, what people DON'T do or DON'T say leaves just as big of a scar on our soul as the things that sound most extreme.

There are growth rings where we found out a family secrets---omeone was adopted---parents weren't faithful---all kinds of stuff in the family closet

Lots of us have a ring marked by a divorce, or even two, and a part of our life was forever altered.

There are growth rings marked by a funeral. Someone left too soon. Or simply someone left who meant the world to you. Or someone left before you could say what you needed to say to them.

Maybe there's a growth ring where you (or someone in your family) were touched by someone---someone who should have protected---someone who should have been safe---but they touched in ways that God never intended---ways that break His heart just as much as ours.

All these things that have happened to us have caused HURT. They are the nicks, the cuts and wounds on our soul.

But when we look inside of ourselves and look at these hurts---so many times it doesn't feel done---so often the wound still hurts---it hasn't healed.

But unlike a tree, this God of compassion wants us to look at these things, talk about them & to allow Him to heal and to be greater than the hurt.

In my personal opinion, the vast majority of hurt that I've seen in my life and in the lives of people in this church, comes from the most unsuspecting and dangerous places:

It comes from people who are closest to us. So often we feel hurt from parents, children, close friends, someone at a church, a leader at a church, a spouse, a sister, a brother

In the drama, there are probably people here who've been each one of those characters in real life. And what a scarily realistic portrayal.

The family is supposed to be this loving safe place. But so often hurt happens from the people closest to us.

In this day and age it's so easy to think that the people we should fear most are terrorists, Iraqi militants, a mugger, a robber, a bully. Odds are most of us don't have a growth ring marked by one of those people

And this is not a new phenomenonit's not some indication that our society is more quickly going to "Hades in a handbag."

This is an excerpt from Psalm 55 written by David. This is one of those deep despair Psalms, where David feels like his life is ready to go to the waste treatment plant...and after going on about his pain and turmoil he lets us know where his problems are coming from.

David's companion...his close friend...the friend he worshiped with...cut him deep...caused hurt in David.

And with all the enemies Jesus had on earth, He was betrayed by Judas...a close friend.

I'm a person who didn't grow up in church. Some days I think that's a bad thing. Then, other days I'm talking with someone who did grow up in church and they begin to tell me this story of how someone in the church hurt them directly or how people or even leaders in the church hurt their family or treated someone in the most non-God-honoring ways

I had lunch with a friend of mine who was leading music at a church years ago and because he brought a song that stylistically wasn't a turn of the century hymn, he got called out by the pastor right there in front of everyone including his kids.

So my friend has a growth ring that shows a wound from a brother in Christ. And now admittedly he can tend be safe and a little stand-offish in a place that's supposed to be characterized by love and grace.

I have another close friend whom I love dearly---a long time ago he was full-on into church and all I know is something bad happened---something about that experience wounded him so badly that he and I haven't really talked about it---I can tell it's one of those growth rings that shows a hurt that still hurts.

And like Psalm 55, most of us know stories about a church, (including this one,) where somehow the people who are supposed to be characterized by love and grace--- bruised or cut you or someone you know with condemnation, or ignorance, or immaturity, or un-acceptance or un-grace. And you still feel it---it's a hurt that's not healed

If you or someone you know has been hurt by someone in any church, I want to say that I am sorry. On behalf of brothers and sisters in Christ who perhaps failed---I am so sorry...

But in the same breath, I cannot say that you will be 100% safe from being hurt here. I wish I could. But I can't. You know why?

Because the church is this really messy organism---it's this place where in here right now are 700-800 people that are all across the board---there are people just trying to pick-up the scent of Christ---people who don't know Jesus.

There are some very mature, very wise, very Christ-like people here. And in between, we're at all different levels of spiritual maturity.

And just like children who are not fully mature, make mistakes and don't always choose wisely because they don't YET no better---

So too, tons of people in this room are not YET spiritually mature---and we're trying our best, but based on what we know of God and of His Word, we're making mistakes and don't always choose wisely YET---because that's where we are with Christ.

So I say that to say that church isn't a perfect place. It's a place where imperfect people come to seek the Perfect One. And so you and I-- in our imperfection, in our spiritual immaturity, can hurt each other.

Instead He gave us instruction on how to respond to the hurts He knew we'd suffer. And in this instruction is the road out of the hurt---in this passage is the road to healing the hurt.

"Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts"

Hurt is everywhere in the world---it's where we work, where we recreate, in our families & sometimes even in the church. The world would say we have every right to be mad, to be angry, to withhold forgiveness---to hold a grudge. But then again, the father of this world (II Cor. 4:4) is someone named Satan.

If we respond to someone who hurt us (even in extreme cases) with bitterness, contempt, anger, rage, indifference, or hatred---that will only trap us in the place of hurt---it will keep the wound from healing.

When we hold on to the hurt and the anger, we are keeping God out of this place in us. We are condemning ourselves to hurt that never goes away.

And when we hold onto the hurt and don't forgive, the church becomes a place that's no different than any other place in the world...

Earlier I said that people can get hurt in a church. The difference is that IN THE CHURCH, when you and I FORGIVE, the hurt stops THERE---and through you and I forgiving---church becomes a place of healing grace.

Where there are worldly people there is hurt, justice & bitterness. Where there are Christ followers, based on Col. 3 there is: hurt, forgiveness and healing.

God is not trying to punish us and be mean to us by making us forgive this hideous thing that's happened to us.

He's trying to set us FREE from being bound to this anger, resentment, and bitterness. God wants to heal us---and that comes through forgiveness.

We choose to forgive and choose to leave judgment to God. If we WAIT to FEEL like forgiving we never willand we'll stay stuck in the hurt.

"We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him." Romans 8:28

"God orchestrated this horrible soul-scarring moment just so He could work a miracle in your life."

It says, "Because this is a fallen world and sin, pain, and death happen, God will be with you no matter what---He'll never let go of you & He will bring something of value in situations where we see and feel only destruction and hurt."

I was talking to a friend at lunch last week and somehow we got on the topic of his childhood. His family was poor. He moved around. Was the new kid. Got bullied.

Turns out this guy is phenomenal with kids. Kids love him. He brings out the best in them. He challenges them and catches them doing things right.

I said, "Do you suppose that God has used the hurt from your childhood to impassion you to build into and build up the kids you are around?..."

Sometimes allowing someone else to look at your growth rings helps us to understand how God has already done Romans 8:28 in our lives.

Trans into talking about Hurt, not from people, but hurt in a fallen world---sometimes hurt just happens.



	< back Forgiveness handout Greater than...my HURT morgan young 1.28.07 I don't know if you're aware of it, but you and I are a lot like trees. By about June it's easy to look at trees and see health. By that time, all the leaves are full-on green, they're all hopped-up on chlorophyll. And unless you have "Mr. Destructo" kids around, the trunks of trees look strong and the barks in good shape. And for the most part, we're very similar. Most of the time when we see each other walking around the church, or school, the ball game etc., on the outsideto the naked eye, we look pretty healthy too---we look good--together. But if we took one of those healthy trees with the good looking leaves and sturdy bark, and cut a cross-section of it, we'd see some interesting stuff that we couldn't see from the outside. One ring might show a season of drought, and hardly any growth. We might see where there had been a fire. Where it was struck by lightning. When we look inside a tree we can see its history---its story of tell-tale scars and the bumps along the way. The things that hurt it, the times when it took a hit. I wonder what it would look like if we could look at our cross-sections---what kind of bumps and scars would our "growth rings" reveal? It's hard to imagine how many childhood growth ring hurts are in a room like this. Things like: Alcoholism...physical abuse...neglect...the loss of a parent. Or sometimes it's the scar that doesn't sound that bad, but it's just as damaging---like the mom or dad that didn't really noticed you---didn't praise you---didn't seem to love you quite as much---didn't tell you they loved you. So many times, what people DON'T do or DON'T say leaves just as big of a scar on our soul as the things that sound most extreme. There are growth rings where we found out a family secrets---omeone was adopted---parents weren't faithful---all kinds of stuff in the family closet Lots of us have a ring marked by a divorce, or even two, and a part of our life was forever altered. There are growth rings marked by a funeral. Someone left too soon. Or simply someone left who meant the world to you. Or someone left before you could say what you needed to say to them. Maybe there's a growth ring where you (or someone in your family) were touched by someone---someone who should have protected---someone who should have been safe---but they touched in ways that God never intended---ways that break His heart just as much as ours. All these things that have happened to us have caused HURT. They are the nicks, the cuts and wounds on our soul. When you cut open a tree, what's done is done, But when we look inside of ourselves and look at these hurts---so many times it doesn't feel done---so often the wound still hurts---it hasn't healed. But unlike a tree, this God of compassion wants us to look at these things, talk about them & to allow Him to heal and to be greater than the hurt. In my personal opinion, the vast majority of hurt that I've seen in my life and in the lives of people in this church, comes from the most unsuspecting and dangerous places: It comes from people who are closest to us. So often we feel hurt from parents, children, close friends, someone at a church, a leader at a church, a spouse, a sister, a brother In the drama, there are probably people here who've been each one of those characters in real life. And what a scarily realistic portrayal. The family is supposed to be this loving safe place. But so often hurt happens from the people closest to us. In this day and age it's so easy to think that the people we should fear most are terrorists, Iraqi militants, a mugger, a robber, a bully. Odds are most of us don't have a growth ring marked by one of those people Our reality is that most of our wounds come from "friendly fire" and the closer the person is to us, the deeper the hurt tends to be. And this is not a new phenomenonit's not some indication that our society is more quickly going to "Hades in a handbag." This is an excerpt from Psalm 55 written by David. This is one of those deep despair Psalms, where David feels like his life is ready to go to the waste treatment plant...and after going on about his pain and turmoil he lets us know where his problems are coming from. David says, "It is not my enemy who taunts me I could bear that. It is not my foes who so arrogantly insult me I could have hidden from them. Instead, it is youmy equal, My companion and close friend. What good fellowship we enjoyed As we walked together in the house of God." Psalm 55:12-14 nlt David's companion...his close friend...the friend he worshiped with...cut him deep...caused hurt in David. And with all the enemies Jesus had on earth, He was betrayed by Judas...a close friend. I'm a person who didn't grow up in church. Some days I think that's a bad thing. Then, other days I'm talking with someone who did grow up in church and they begin to tell me this story of how someone in the church hurt them directly or how people or even leaders in the church hurt their family or treated someone in the most non-God-honoring ways I had lunch with a friend of mine who was leading music at a church years ago and because he brought a song that stylistically wasn't a turn of the century hymn, he got called out by the pastor right there in front of everyone including his kids. So my friend has a growth ring that shows a wound from a brother in Christ. And now admittedly he can tend be safe and a little stand-offish in a place that's supposed to be characterized by love and grace. I have another close friend whom I love dearly---a long time ago he was full-on into church and all I know is something bad happened---something about that experience wounded him so badly that he and I haven't really talked about it---I can tell it's one of those growth rings that shows a hurt that still hurts. And like Psalm 55, most of us know stories about a church, (including this one,) where somehow the people who are supposed to be characterized by love and grace--- bruised or cut you or someone you know with condemnation, or ignorance, or immaturity, or un-acceptance or un-grace. And you still feel it---it's a hurt that's not healed If you or someone you know has been hurt by someone in any church, I want to say that I am sorry. On behalf of brothers and sisters in Christ who perhaps failed---I am so sorry... But in the same breath, I cannot say that you will be 100% safe from being hurt here. I wish I could. But I can't. You know why? Because the church is this really messy organism---it's this place where in here right now are 700-800 people that are all across the board---there are people just trying to pick-up the scent of Christ---people who don't know Jesus. There are some very mature, very wise, very Christ-like people here. And in between, we're at all different levels of spiritual maturity. And just like children who are not fully mature, make mistakes and don't always choose wisely because they don't YET no better--- So too, tons of people in this room are not YET spiritually mature---and we're trying our best, but based on what we know of God and of His Word, we're making mistakes and don't always choose wisely YET---because that's where we are with Christ. So I say that to say that church isn't a perfect place. It's a place where imperfect people come to seek the Perfect One. And so you and I-- in our imperfection, in our spiritual immaturity, can hurt each other. And this Perfect One-- never said that hurt would never come your way. He does not promise that He'll keep the hurt away from us. Instead He gave us instruction on how to respond to the hurts He knew we'd suffer. And in this instruction is the road out of the hurt---in this passage is the road to healing the hurt. "Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts" Colossians 3:12-15 nlt Hurt is everywhere in the world---it's where we work, where we recreate, in our families & sometimes even in the church. The world would say we have every right to be mad, to be angry, to withhold forgiveness---to hold a grudge. But then again, the father of this world (II Cor. 4:4) is someone named Satan. But God says among His followers we must RESPOND differently to people who hurt us. If we respond to someone who hurt us (even in extreme cases) with bitterness, contempt, anger, rage, indifference, or hatred---that will only trap us in the place of hurt---it will keep the wound from healing. When we hold on to the hurt and the anger, we are keeping God out of this place in us. We are condemning ourselves to hurt that never goes away. And when we hold onto the hurt and don't forgive, the church becomes a place that's no different than any other place in the world... Earlier I said that people can get hurt in a church. The difference is that IN THE CHURCH, when you and I FORGIVE, the hurt stops THERE---and through you and I forgiving---church becomes a place of healing grace. Where there are worldly people there is hurt, justice & bitterness. Where there are Christ followers, based on Col. 3 there is: hurt, forgiveness and healing. God says in Colossians and in Ephesians 4:31 to FORGIVE. It says we "MUST FORGIVE." God's place is to judge others; not ours. Our command is to forgive. God is not trying to punish us and be mean to us by making us forgive this hideous thing that's happened to us. He's trying to set us FREE from being bound to this anger, resentment, and bitterness. God wants to heal us---and that comes through forgiveness. Quick truths about forgiveness: 1. It doesn't mean forgetting 2. Forgiveness is a decision, not an emotion. We choose to forgive and choose to leave judgment to God. If we WAIT to FEEL like forgiving we never willand we'll stay stuck in the hurt. 3. Forgiveness doesn't mean what the person did was right. It simply means you are passing on the grace that Christ has given to you. 4. It doesn't mean putting you or a loved one back into harms way. "Wise as serpents gentle as doves." Matthew 10:16 more in-depth Forgiveness Handout available I want to offer you some hope about hurt and draw our attention to the bigger picture. Romans 8:28 says: "We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him." Romans 8:28 Paraphrase: "God is always with me working for my good." This verse does NOT say: "God caused this bad thing to happen." Nor does it say, "God orchestrated this horrible soul-scarring moment just so He could work a miracle in your life." It says "out of these ashes God will bring good." It says, "Because this is a fallen world and sin, pain, and death happen, God will be with you no matter what---He'll never let go of you & He will bring something of value in situations where we see and feel only destruction and hurt." I was talking to a friend at lunch last week and somehow we got on the topic of his childhood. His family was poor. He moved around. Was the new kid. Got bullied. I start poking around and the emotion starts coming up like it was yesterday... Turns out this guy is phenomenal with kids. Kids love him. He brings out the best in them. He challenges them and catches them doing things right. I said, "Do you suppose that God has used the hurt from your childhood to impassion you to build into and build up the kids you are around?..." Sometimes allowing someone else to look at your growth rings helps us to understand how God has already done Romans 8:28 in our lives. /////////////////////////////////// Trans into talking about Hurt, not from people, but hurt in a fallen world---sometimes hurt just happens. <<<<<< Cindy Lundin interview about the loss of her son, Brent >>>>> close service with congo: You Never Let Go -Matt Redman Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death Your perfect love is casting out fear And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life I won't turn back I know You are near And I will fear no evil For my God is with me And if my God is with me Whom then shall I fear? Whom then shall I fear? Chorus: Oh no, You never let go Through the calm and through the storm Oh no, You never let go In every high and every low Oh no, You never let go Lord, You never let go of me And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on A glorious light beyond all compare And there will be an end to these troubles But until that day comes We'll live to know You here on the earth Chorus: Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on And there will be an end to these troubles But until that day comes Still I will praise You, still I will praise You Chorus: (2x's)