blood_pressure

I was doing some research on this "stress" thing, and interestingly enough, I found that just 50 years ago, the word "stress" only applied to bridges or structures. But by 1983, 55% of adults said they felt "great stress" on a weekly basis. And by 1996, it had gone up to 73% of adults.

(Pole the audience--- "How many peeps here would say they experience stress at least once a week?")

For about $500 per session, psychologist Robert L. Friedman (ppt) goes to corporate offices and helps them "DRUM" their stress away. He gets executives in a room and he gives them hand drums. Some of his clients are American Express, Time Warner, Viacom and Xerox. (Local note: for just $300 I'll show up at your office with a set of bongos;-)

People pay "energy reader" J. B. Brown (ppt) $60 per hour to try to draw out the "bad energy" from their bodies with crystals, and then she sends them on their way with some aroma therapy to help keep the "good energy" with them after they leave.

For $50 an hour, Sam Zeiger helps people relax with his "Blue Light Flotation"(ppt) technique. Customers climb into a 7-foot high tank and ease into 12 inches of 94 degree water that's saturated with Epsom salts---which makes them bob like a cork. The result: freedom from gravity, noise, light, and stress.

Dig this--- did you know even our PETS are stressed! Veterinarian schools teach how to prescribe Valium, Prozac and other anti-anxiety pills. Treating your dog for stress can easily cost $100 a month! Imagine spending 25 "bones" per week for some "puppy uppers!" ;-) ///

One of the biggest reasons why we feel stress is our "pace of life"---it's the amount of stuff going on in the course of a day, week or month. Anyone with kids want to admit to the reality of the drama with a big ol' "OH YEAH!"? (interact)

And just so you know, "pace of life" is just as big a deal for me or anyone else on staff as it is for you.

As I was thinking about today's talk, I was reflecting back on the pace of my life in the last 12 months---this past year has been the most intense season that I can ever remember at Oakbrook---it was intense because we've been short staffed and doing a multi-million-dollar building campaign.

Often Saturdays I'd spend a half day finishing my message for FW or other parts of the Sun. night service

Sun. afternoon come back & setup for the Sun. night service. Do the service. Hang out & then clean up the church and head home about 9pm. Monday, start all over.

Then this fall after Tony came, I've been neck deep in the Vision 242 fundraising process followed by weeks of planning & rehearsing getting ready for the Big Event at KHS.

This is not unique to me in the least---Everyone on staff (especially Mark) has a similar or more intense story they could tell.

1. I don't want you to think I'm going to talk to you about pace of life and have you think that the life of a minister is about (smiley) "slowly coasting along life's flowery path."

And the 2nd reason is: Sometimes the season of life is such that we HAVE TO deal with a lot of stuff. I wasn't prepared to say to students: "Look I don't have enough time to work as hard as I can for you." And the same with V242 and all the other things we spend our time in around here---these were non-negotiables---we had to do everything we did this past year. Because quite literallythere were and ARE LIVES IN THE BALANCE. It's simply a busy season around here.

And I'm sure that all the women here with young children can understand what it is to be in a busy season of life. Taking care of infants and toddlers is a non-negotiableyou HAVE TO do it. Any moms with kids in tow want to say a hearty, "Oh yeah?!" (respond) For you ladies, there are literally little lives in the balance, every day!

I'm sure there are men & women here who either are or have been in situations where you've HAD to work mandatory overtime. It wasn't a choice"You want to work here? Then you're working overtime!"

I have friends that run small family businesses. And they're reality is: When the work is coming in, you take it and make it happen, because next month it may NOT be coming in. A lot of small businesses don't have big cash reserves ---they're not in a position to say "no" to work. /

I just want to acknowledge that there are seasons of life where managing stress isn't simply a matter of taking another day off---because some of you simply don't have that option

So if that's you, breathe easier now. But keep listening, because there IS hope---there is relief. ///

Now on the other side there are things that create stress and they're not THINGS or ACTIVITIES in our lives, but they're IN us. (elaborate?)

I'm talking about the things like Jeanne, Monty & Tony shared with us---they're our personalities. (acknowledge those 3?)

Tony mentioned how his drive to do a good job and his desire to be proud of what he does can contribute to being over-worked and stressed. And because Tony has a great work ethic and always wants to do his level best, it can result with too much stress in his week

Is there anyone else in the house who has a great work ethic to the point it gets you in trouble with your pace of life and you feel stress?---Anyone relate with Tony? (raise hands)

Monty said he has trouble saying "no" to things that he could and perhaps should say "no" to. He does that because he's a "nice guy" and doesn't want to see people disappointed. And when he says "yes" when he shouldn't, his schedule can get too full and he winds up stressed because he said "yes" to everyone accept himself.

Any other nice guys or gals in the house who find it hard to tell people "no"? Can you relate with Monty? (raise hands)

Jeanne likes to have a plan. Jeanne likes to work her plan. She likes her house and life to be "just so." She loves her husband, Dan, and her girls, Emily & Alyssa and she wants them all to live in a nice clean orderly home.

And if she can work her plan, then everyone and everything she cares about will be well served. But when something's out of order or off the schedule, she feels out of control---she feels stressed.

Is there anyone here who can relate with her and understand the frustration when things don't go as planned? Who can relate w/Jeanne? (raise hands)

You know, this gives me an idea I think after the service we should have Tony, Jeanne & Monty go to 3 different areas of the auditorium and we'll all go to the person we resonate with the mostthen each group can have a bonding moment and talk about how totally INSANE the other 2 groups are!

Think about the muscle of these three huge groupsthink of what we could get done "As 1 big honkin' group, we'd:

My point is that very often, the source of some or a great deal of our stress isn't always something that's beyond our control. Very often you and I contribute to it. So the first step in dealing with stress, is not looking outward at externals at things we can't change, but looking inward and asking questions like:

Personally, I can relate with Tony and Jeanne. Can I relate with Monty? My answer is a very clear and emphatic, "no!" Am I willing to come to your home immediately after church today and talk about your stress issues? No! ;-)

Like Jeanne, sometimes I'm more committed to my plan than the solution. I'm a "plan your work"-- then "work your plan" kind of guy. Sometimes I just need to learn to take pill and realize that for whatever reason, the plan isn't working. The longer I hold on to the plan after I notice it's not working, the more I get stressed.

Sometimes I'll spend time making my own PowerPoint for messages even though there's other people to do it. Why? In my quasi-perfectionistic mode, I want it to look the way I want it to look. And then I spend a few more hours working in a week because of that personality tick. (ack. booth peeps;-)

In the past My wife Sandra has worked in environments where there were (to be polite) "relationally challenged" employees. (Maybe you have worked with some;-)

She would come home very frustrated & stressed because of certain people she worked with. I finally said to her, "Why do you expect people to be different than you know them to be?" "Why do you go to work expecting "so-n-so" to be different today than they were yesterday??"

In many situations if we'd simply realize the reality that some people aren't going to change, ---if we'll have a realistic expectation--- we will be less frustrated, less stressed.

Do you ever find you and your friends complaining about the service at a fast food restaurant? You have unrealistic expectations! It's a fast food restaurant, it's all they can do to staff the place! If you have 4 out of the 5 things you ordered after leaving the drive thru, CELEBRATE! ;-)

Another question: "Are you a charter member of the 'If I don't do it, no one else will!' club?"

No one will admit this one, so if the person sitting next to you does this, will you raise your hand on their behalf, please? ;-)

If you are plagued by this lie, then write this on the refrigerator: (ppt) "If I don't do it, someone else will figure it out!"

I think all parents are guilty of this to some degree and sometimes in very light shades. I know in our house getting the kids showers & ready for bed is a regular chore. One night a few weeks ago I was observing the frenetic pace of our evening and listening to the kids at different times shouting from the bathtub downstairs and the shower upstairs as loudly as they possibly could, "MOM, I'M READY TO GET OUT!" "DAD, I'M READY TO GET OUT!" (made up that 2nd one)

Our kids aren't babies anymore. So I said, let's equip these kids to be more self-sufficient and create just a little more space in our evening by teaching them little things like which spigot to turn off first so they don't get burned, and how to get out and dry off all by themselves. We don't have to love them any less--- Just teach them responsibility appropriate for their ages.

To lower my stress-load, maybe it's time to teach someone else how to do it. From the beginning of time, people have said "no" to things only to have other people step-in, or grow-in to what someone else used to do. If you don't do it, life will go onmaybe differently, but it will go on.

Here's the some healthy questions: Are there things I do that someone else could be taught to do? Yes, I'm doing it, but am I being a martyr & driving people nuts in the process?;-) As parents, we have a responsibility to our kids---NOT to do everything for thembut to teach them and set them up to win. That includes teaching them responsibility by allowing them to take some appropriate things off of our plate.

The "can't say 'no' peeps" need to get a bracelet with this on it! If someone asks Monty to engineer a recording project in his studio, and he looks at his calendar and sees that between his work schedule and his dad and husband schedule there's no space for a recording project---- he needs to say "no"

And how the person reacts to his "no" is not his responsibility. As Christ followers we have a responsibility as husbands, as wives, as fathers, mothers, as sons, daughters, as church members we have the responsibility of discerning what the right thing to do is in a given situation How people react to the decision we feel is the right one, is not our responsibility.

When we try to "make everyone ok" when they hear an answer they don't like, it creates stress. Please---I'm not saying be cold insensitive people

But when we tell a reasonable person "no" ---they should have enough respect to understand that "if you could you would"enough respect to understand if it was the right thing for you to do, you would do it.

IF saying "no" is indeed the right thing to do, don't let an unhealthy "ask" keep you from saying "no."

Whether you're a stay at home mom with a couple little ones, or whether you're working mandatory overtime, whether you just can't say "no", whether you're a control freak, or whether you're up to your eyeballs in ministry

I want to tell you the prescription for your stress is ultimately not found in a drum circle, not found in "crystal-therapy or aroma-therapy" it's only found in

Anyone else just have a '60's flashback and now you're freaked-out because you're not watching "Laugh In" but instead sitting in a church and now you're confused because I'm not Dan Rowan or Dick Martin?

This line states a theological concept that is absolutely KEY to dealing with stress from a Biblical perspective, and this is: We have to take a "time out" to experience God in a profound way.ppt

Over & over we hear God speaking to people referred to as "the still small voice of God." We can't profoundly hear a still small voice in the pace of life many of us are living

And in the New Testament, we find Jesus checking out often to refuel by himself. We see the Son of God retreat to regularly seek the Father.

Friends I think this is the hardest Biblical principle for us to do---harder than prayingharder than reading the Bibleharder than worship---it's extremely hard for us to steal 30 uninterrupted minutes out of our day or even our week--and devote them to God... And this Holy "time out" is the foundation of what it is to authentically live out the life of a Christ follower

IF we can carve out quiet small blocks of time---we can pray ---we can listen for God---we can listen to our soul --- we can sense the Holy Spirit as we read His Word. Very rarely have I heard people say to me,

"Man, I'm making these 30 minute blocks of time to be with God, but nothing happensI don't understand the BibleI don't get a sense of my deep down emotions"

What I have heard a lot of peopleincluding myself say is, "Man, another week went whizzing by and I didn't get any real God time in"

I believe the only way I survived the nutty schedule of the last 12 months has been to seek God like I never have before. That no matter how much "task" I had to do in a week, the most important task was to seek Him in a quiet place, first. That was the oxygen my soul needed to do what I have to do. Jesus is called the Prince of Peace. He is the peace that chases out stress.

And I believe you and I LOVE it when we get a chance to slow down and just focus on God stuff I believe that's one of the biggest reason why seekers and Christ followers both love Sunday morning services so much because for one solid hour, someone else has the kidswe pretty much get to sit back and get exposed to God stuff

It's more than "the show"the good music, videos & drama there's something about sitting here and taking in an hour where everything pertains to God stuffit appeals to your soulit draws your soul back week after week because it's a need we all have it's in our DNA for our soul to crave the stuff of God. In our soul, we're junkies for "time outs" from the stress & pace of life and we want God stuff.

And it's a need that the church can only provide ONE hour during the week---like this week, maybe two with the Gathering tonight. And that's not enough. With our pace of life, you and I cannot survive the stress of life well, without more pockets of God time in our week. //

I want to address something and I'd like some grace on this as it doesn't apply to everyone so don't take this out of context---but I feel strongly that I need to say it in love because some of you need to hear this

"I'm just not being fed spiritually enough here " Now, on one hand we as a church understand we need to do more teaching by adding more Gathering type services providing growth opportunities, and we're working on it & committed to it

But whenever I hear the "I'm not being fed enough" deal I always want to ask, "Are you doing your part to make quiet God-times in your week?--- or are you counting on the church to serve it all up to you an hour on Sunday?"

Friends, one of the miraculous and life-changing things that happened when Christ was crucified was that the Holy Spirit of God was then made available to every Christ follower---24-7-365---every minute of every day God is available to us.

If we're only accessing God an hour on Sunday---if we're only exposing our soul to the stuff of God an hour on Sun.--- we're not taking advantage of what Christ's death made possible---we're not giving our soul what it craves ---we're not battling the stress of our life with the biggest Antidote there is: the Prince of Peace.

Friends, if you need help knowing how to pray to God, how to read the Bible, how to worship etc., please talk to someone on staffwe will help you.

But please don't say "I'm not being fed enough" without trying to feed yourself during the week through the Holy Spirit. We have a responsibility to you as a church to help you grow. In turn, we as individualsall of us---have a responsibility to seek God in Holy time-outs in our week. If say, "I need fed" or we say "God just isn't working for me," and we're not trying to make time alone as Christ didwe're not doing our part. ///

The best part of my week in the past 7 days was about 30 minutes Thurs. morning. Mon-Wed. was mostly long intense meetings for a lot of people on staff. Generally speaking, meetings don't refuel me. But Thurs. I was finally going to get started on this message so I decided to work at home since it's quiet during the day

After Sandra went to work I got the kids off to school as usual I locked the front door, made sure the answering machine was onand I put a couple CDs in the stereo that typically speak to my soul and I sat back in the recliner and just listenedand I turned it upand worshiped

And in my Holy time-out I felt God's presence in the kind of way that undeniably tattoos itself on my heart in a way that makes me realize that He is real and that He cares about my soul.

For about 30 minutes the deepest part of me was satisfied with the Only Thing that feeds our soul and sends stress out the windowand that's time alone with the God that died for me, who saved me, who loves me unconditionally, who cares about the stresses in my life, and who wants to help me and is not too busy for my little stresses and struggles. ///

I'd like to end this message a little differently I want to make a 5 minute space available for you to be quiet and listen to a worship song that was recorded during an actual worship service. We'll turn the lights off We won't do anything freaky

all I ask you to do, seeker & Christ follower, is to listen to the words and be open that God may want to touch your soulmay want to push some of the stress out of your life this morning

You can look out the windows, look at the floor, close your eyes, pray to yourselfor just sit and listen ask in your head, "God are you real?"

What I'm asking you to do as you leave here, is to look inside yourself this week and see how your personality feeds into the stress of your life. Ask a friend or spouse if they can help you see patterns of being a "control freak" a "work-a-holic" or a "can't say 'no' person." Then brainstorm how you can start making some adjustments, this week.

And if you're living a schedule that's max'ed out, steal 30 minutes somewhere. Spouses, help each other by watching the kids for 30 minutes once a week to start---send an SOS to a friend and ask them for 30 minutes this week so you can meet with God alone (hopefully you won't ask someone who finally learned how to say "no" this morning)

Maybe you tell your spouse you'll be home 30 minutes later one night, and you drive to a park and sit in your car and ask God to be there as you read His Word, or pray, or listen to a worship CD, or journal, or read a book on how to find God, or maybe you just stay quiet for 30 minutes and say at the start, "God, this time is all about You what do you want to say to me, I'm all ears."

It's not easy to carve out time. But it's a whole lot easier than trying to shoulder everything you have to shoulder all week long and then grabbing your Holy oxygen mask here next Sun.

I'd like to give you some Scriptures to leave on. If you're life is more stressed that you want it to be, write these references down put these verses where you can see them they're more than words they are promises to stand on:

Ppt "I have told you all this so that you may have peace in Me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world." John 16:33 nlt

Ppt "Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7 nlt